Change is not as simple as we think. All the ways in which we try to manifest change are based on our trusty ways of doing things. Our ways of doing things are based on mental habits and unconscious patterns from early conditioning. We learned to remove ourselves from our experience in order to placate, compromise, fit in, stay safe, or whatever. We learned to favour the mind and it’s capacity to distract us and make a safe distance from emotion.
Change through these usual channels will bring some relief, awareness and more control of whatever we need or want to change. It will be temporary
If we really want to change we have to embrace a paradox and learn to be exactly as we are. Exactly as we are, is being present and completely available to ourselves and immersed in whatever experience we are having that is making us want to change.
Doing this is so difficult unless we use the emotions we are already having, to access the present. You can chose to let yourself feel whatever is going on in the present by feeling how it feels in your body. Allowing your body to feel brings realization and surrender. Feel an allow and see what happens and then see if you still want to change .If you do, it should then arise spontaneously from within .
You will feel as if you now have some choice in the matter of what you want to change and how..Or it will happen on it’s own. Trust the process.